After following with magnifying-glass precision the topics discussed and points raised at last week’s Republican National Convention in St. Paul, we’re convinced that you’d have to be on meth to consider Sarah Palin an appropriate VP candidate.

Forget all that silly dissing of Wasilla, Alaska, the “hockey mom” comment and the blah-blah-blogosphere yammering on how she once asked what exactly the vice president does. Put enough microphones in front of enough monkeys and they’ll solve the brucellosis riddle. The same is clearly true in reverse. Palin is not the Antichrist—she’s just a bad choice for veep.

From top to bottom, the Alaska governor is inexperienced in every way that really matters and a poor selection for gaining the middle ground. Picking Palin also appears to us as a clear insult to Western and female swing voters. It’s at least obvious by her sparse voting record that she takes the core issues of neither demographic to heart in opposing reproductive rights, supporting drilling in ANWR and advocating for one of the biggest wastes of taxpayer money ever put on paper—the infamous “bridge to nowhere.”

That little diatribe aside, we found something that somebody found in their inbox last week quite interesting indeed.

A Bay Area website, The SFist, recently posted a social notice that Palin will speak at a fundraising banquet Sept. 25 in San Francisco. Apparently, GOP supporters can purchase a posh luncheon ticket and a super-posh McCain 2008 lapel pin for just $2,500. More to the point, conservative billionaire Tom Siebel, chief benefactor of the controversial Montana Meth Project, will host the event.

While Siebel may not be a meth user himself, his preoccupation with the substance may explain his attraction to a candidate who relies on distorted perceptions to achieve widespread acceptance. At least, that’s the consensus around the Indy newsroom—other than that we really want one of those lapel pins.

Either way, something’s fishy here, because the only thing more gruesome than those Montana Meth Project ads is watching Palin get repeatedly greased on the national political scene. Is this for real, or is Cheney baking children into a giant pie while we all chase the brightly colored hand puppet? Or is crystal meth really that big of a problem in the Western states?

After all, selecting the back-up leader of the free world because of gender or geography isn’t normal, but on meth it is.
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