The anti-pissing contest 

Wear a diaper. Pee under the table. Dehydrate yourself all day first. Such were the strategies at Sean Kelly’s Nov. 11 Bladder Buster, during which participants with stamps on their hands could, starting at 10 p.m., drink 50-cent Kettle House beers until the first person with a stamped hand either went to the bathroom or left the building. Then the 50-cent deal was off, and the pee-er won an official Sean Kelly’s/Kettle House Bladder Buster T-shirt.

About 150 participants consumed two kegs of beer in just 28 minutes before UM student Nate Souther got caught relieving himself in the basement.

Sean Kelly’s manager Paul Rudd says what you’re banking on with a Bladder Buster is that you get participants who have been drinking prior to the event:

Enter UM student Joe Blattner (yes, Blattner) and his crowd of friends who had been celebrating another friend’s 21st birthday for hours before the Buster. They gather around a table and start a brief game of quarters, at which point one friend, identified only as Peter, feels he might puke.

“Don’t worry, he’s not going anywhere,” Blattner assures the stamped-hand crowd as Peter teeters in Sean Kelly’s threshold, cheeks swelling, then moves to the end of the bar where a white bucket is provided for him—but not used.

Minutes later, rumors sweep the bar that someone has peed in the basement. “Pisser, get up here!” yells a band member playing on the corner stage. As if. But within minutes (and perhaps against better judgment), Sean Kelly’s regular Nate Souther slinks forward, prize T-shirt over his shoulder, and fesses up: “I pissed off the crowd at Sean Kelly’s,” he says, reading the T-shirt’s slogan.

A guy wearing a sweatshirt that reads “BONG” gestures toward his crotch and gives Souther some belated advice: “You gotta cork it!”

The crowd accepts the end of the Buster without incident, and Souther says, “I thought for sure I was gonna get beat like a red-headed step child.”

As for Blattner, he finds an opportunistic silver lining even in the face of full-price beers. When manager Rudd walks by, Blattner stops him and asks, “You still taking [job] applications?”

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