Never Say Diet 

Round yourself out with this delicious winter warm-up

With the first snowfall, we have to start thinking about an ample sealskin, a good layer of insulating blubber. The easiest way to get prepared for the dropping temperatures is to consume a whole pound of butter. At least, this is the reasoning of my dogs. They have taken to sneaking around and stealing off into the snow with their spoils: fattening dairy products left absentmindedly within their reach. During the rest of the year, my dogs are above reproach and trusted implicitly. Come wintertime, though, they must be watched. They are reacting to a natural force beyond either my or their own control.

We should all be following their example, and we don’t even have to wait for anyone’s head to be turned. It is well worth the enjoyable effort to pack on the winter tonnage. Well, at least until we have to somehow squeeze ourselves into summer clothes again. But spring is months and months away! Spending a few hours at an all-you-can-eat buffet at least once a week is crucial to maintaining a healthy winter coat, as is drinking a thick hearty beer with each of the six meals you should allot yourself per day.

One of the easiest ways to create a puffier, softer and warmer body is to bake cookies or homemade brownies on a constant basis. This helps the magic butter-to-insulation process get underway. Cookies are by far the easiest ticket to a rounder figure. The crux of a good cookie is half a stick of softened butter creamed with half a cup of brown sugar and half a cup of white sugar. Add a tablespoon of vanilla and an egg and mix with the butter and sugar until creamy, then add a dash of baking powder, a smidgen of salt and enough flour to make the mixture into a pasty dough. This creates the batter for the basic cookie. By adding nuts, chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, coconut, peanut butter, or any other deliciously fattening extra to the dough, an even more sinful recipe can be created.

Spoon the final creation in dollops onto a greased cookie sheet and bake at 300 degrees for as long as it takes for the cookies to turn golden brown. Buttery cookies should be included in one’s daily diet if one hopes to remain comfortably warm throughout the season. Cookies can also be considered a community service when made in large quantities. Most importantly, when placing butter out to soften in order to be ready for the cookie-making, make sure to place it on high counters well out of the reach of household pets. Although simple, the basic cookie can be essential to keeping a desirable warm winter figure. After all, all those beautiful belly bulges will be hidden under layers of sweaters anyway.

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