Happiest Hour 

The Testicle Festival

What it is: Every August, Clinton's Rock Creek Lodge opens its doors to thousands of chaps-clad and half-naked pilgrims who dismount from motorcycles and unload from motor homes to drink copious amounts of alcohol and eat bull balls. The annual rite of passage, which takes place this year Aug. 4–8, marks one of the biggest and most infamous parties around.

What you're drinking: Nel-Lani Powers from the Rock Creek Lodge reports ordering 65 cases of hard alcohol, including vodka, whisky, rum and Jägermeister, along with roughly 700 cases of beer. She recommends one specialty drink, the "Celtic Trapper." Akin to a poor man's speedball, it consists of Xyience Energy Drink, Malibu and flavored vodka.

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What you're eating: Rocky mountain oysters, of course. They're battered, deep fried and taste like chicken, only chewier.

What best washes down bull testicles: "Ice cold beer," according to Powers. We also suggest a couple of drinks before indulging in the delicacy.

Who you're drinking with: According to a sign-up board on hand at the lodge, attendees come from nearly every state, at least nine foreign countries and each continent except, perhaps, Antarctica.

How to find it: From Missoula, head east on I-90 for 17 miles. Take exit 126 to Clinton. Rock Creek Lodge is just off the highway. The festival fee is $17 per person, which covers the full five days. Check out www.testyfesty.com for a full schedule.

Happiest Hour celebrates western Montana watering holes. To recommend a bar, bartender or beverage for Happiest Hour, e-mail editor@missoulanews.com.

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