Remember that educational computer game “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?” Well, it seems the UM Linguistics Department is trying out its own version of the game, though its educational merits are yet to be proven. The new game is called “Where in the Hell is Dennis Holt?”

For those of you with short-term memory loss, Holt is the professor who was dismissed from teaching his linguistics class after delivering a lecture in which he advocated a non-violent overthrow of the Bush administration (see “The revolution will not be proselytized,” by Mike Keefe-Feldman, April 10, 2003). On April 25, the Missoulian ran an article somewhat misleadingly titled “UM lifts suspension of adjunct.” The actual body of the article indicated that, while Holt had been given back his office, he would still not be allowed to re-enter the classroom. Yet, if Holt has his office back, no one seems to know exactly where that office is.

When called and asked for Holt’s office phone number, the UM Linguistics Department told the Indy to try the office of the dean of the College of Arts and Sciences. They would know. The receptionist in the Arts and Sciences office promptly suggested that we call the Linguistics Department. They would know. After being bounced from there to the university information line and back to linguistics, Nancy, the friendly administrative assistant for the Linguistics Department, said that Holt’s office was no longer in the Linguistics Department.

“I’m not sure where they put him,” Nancy said.

As of press time, the Independent is considering embedding reporters with the University janitorial staff to conduct a thorough search of the UM campus. Perhaps we’ll find the unwanted professor studying Greek mythology by match light behind one of the boilers in the power shed, chained to the furnace and patiently awaiting what leftovers kindly students might bring him from the university center trash bins.

***

And you will know we are Christians by our funk: Readers who remember Indy writer Jed Gottlieb’s 2002 cover story about the South Hills Evangelical Church (see “Christian cool,” Sept. 12, 2002) might be interested to learn that the SHEC house band, GoofyFooted, has released some of its music on an enhanced CD/CD-ROM. No dog-eared cover versions of Sunday School favorites here, the seven tunes on Music of SHEC: Come as you are! are all originals, ranging from slick propulsive pop to vibrato-drenched ballads with, um, not much in between, but even so—better than Stryper!

Vaguely pop-punkish name aside (“goofyfooted” is a snowboarding term), the band—guitarist/vocalist John K. Erbele, pianist Heather Erbele, bassist Ryan Beck, Nathan Eyre on keys and Jeramy Parker on percussion—plays music very much in keeping with the message of the church ministry: Up with Jesus. It’s professionally recorded and musically very proficient, although listeners leaning toward the agnostic side of the belief spectrum might find some of the lyrics a little overwrought, particularly lines like “my heart burns with passion for You” (yep, the big Y kind). Elsewhere, when Erbele sings “Is there any God besides you?” you sense it’s a rhetorical question and not a theological quandary. All the same, a much more palatable invitation to salvation than getting harangued by some brainwashed five-year-old at the Farmer’s market. For more information about GoofyFooted and SHEC, go to www.shec.com or call 251-3976.

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